Names:

• Adele Isaac
• Adolfo Salter
• Adolph Cannon
• Aisha Hilton
• Alfreda Hobbs
• Alice Palacios
• Alva Comer
• Alysa Hameenaho
• Amparo Bland
• Antoine Contreras
• Bernal Gay
• Bette Naquin
• Beulah Day
• Boyd Hunter
• Brooks Butts
• Carter Crieg
• Chastity Belcher
• Claude George
• Clyde Abraham
• Corrinne Ibarra
• Dalene Roark
• Danette Rittberg
• Denny LeBlanc
• Elvira Dawkins
• Erma Brunson
• Erma Hoskie
• Esmerelda Butcher
• Esperanza Daniels
• Etta Bellamy
• Eugene P. Admin
• Everette Bradshaw
• Frieda Whaley
• Graciela Buck
• Greta Babcock
• Gretchen Arrington
• Hubert Gibson
• Ingrid Hager
• Ismael Cookie
• Janice Bliss
• Jeri Seay
• Jewel Conn  (now there's a name you can trust!)
• Jindra Racine
• John D. MacMan
• Junior Lancaster 
• Karla Guzman
• Larisa Sosnitskaya
• Lincoln Fountain
• Linwood Galvan
• Mac P. Comptroller
• Mauricio Covington
• Melva Espinoza
• NINTENDO MAN!!!!!  (I picture him to be like DUFFMAN, but oriented towards video games instead of beer.)
• Patrick Von D
• Pearlie Crocker
• Pryor U. Pip
• Queen Benson
• Quinn Faulk
• Rex Brooks  (His subject line was, no surprise, Stronger, More powerful erections.) 
• Rico Witt
• Rico Leon
• Shawn the IRG
• Sterling Beltran
• Vern Lowery
• Verna Corbin
• Wilda Bryant
• Woodrow Glass

And the prize for best name goes to:

• Seymour Cox

Subject Lines:

• Urgent: Mcdonalds Card, immediately followed by Free Colon Cleanse Sample
• Today's funny stuff: Japanese treadmill insanity.
• Cereal_for_You!  Cereal_for_You!  Get 2 Boxes of Lucky Charms™ Delivered to Your Door!  (Yippee! Dog kibble with chunks of sweetened styrofoam!  My favorite!)
• ALERT: John Deere Tractor - John Deere Tractor at your Door  (for some reason, this alarms me.  "It's comin' right for us!")
• sedarger  (indeed)
• Excellent quality replica watches, 100% AS DESCRIBED !
• Dollar Colon Sale  (Wait, what?!)
• about 6473028 offers for FINE QUALITY WINES, $9.99 A BOTTLE! (Put down that $4 Arbor Mist, you uncultured pig of an American...)
• Free dollar store (I do not think this word means what you think it means...)
• Ladies n Mens Love This
• Delectable Dough Nuts  - Get $1000.00 in Dough Nut Dollars  (I am apprehensive, but intrigued)
• powerful outcome grove
• schizomycetes
• [maybe spam] Increase Your Pen1s Width (Girth) By upto 20%  (truth in advertising never seemed so redundant)
• Your Winnings!  $50000!  Are waiting!  (I'm so!!  Excited!!!)
• Try NEW Name Brand Eyebrow Pencil & Eyeliner - On Us!  (Suddenly I really want to scribble on someone, and I can't stop laughing about it.)
• Pessimal (if you say so...?)
• MacMacMacMacMacMACBOOK!!!
• Hate study?  (not as much as your illiterate ass, apparently.)
• In the Name of Cigarettes : Scientific Tobacco Survey  (Won't somebody think of the cigarettes?!?!)
• Best PRices for IMPotence!  (Proving once again that people will buy anything if it's cheap enough.)
• yeah so bananacrunch@yahoo.com, I am sexy Russian Girl. ;)  (Me too, actually.  Okay, so that's an exaggeration, I'm actually a mildly cute Ukranian girl.  What were we talking about, again?)
• Colon Help Center, RE: Emergency COlon Help  (Okay, I really want to draw a line here.  I don't even want my spam folder to think I'm writing people about my colon emergencies.)
• Never Scrub Your Toilet Again - Try It   (No thanks.  Especially not after all that colon cleanse.)

And the prize for best subject line goes to --

• Best cock Offerings Wed, 29 Aug 2007 10:43:09 +0400 (because you want to make sure you're not seeing this morning's old and busted cock offerings.)

Incoherent subject lines - dangerous because of free.

• Hardin and its I can do you see are innumerable, and death and Nuclear power and... 
• Completely a business is dictated by force us and dropped to be seized. We're no... 
• he didn't call with an them to evil, and Jaim Twer; followed he you: must have b...
• Entire cargo rotted useless qualifications in other Kingdoms behind me: befoah I...
• In response, is needed is thought however: did so: you had Did you are correct: ...
• Millennium? And dangerous because of free. The last Galactic Empire cannot call ...
• Me. Order them. He had nothing; of the law.
• Later a cigar and Hardin enter the be a hundred years ago; when HARI it and the ...
• Shipment. Why, you suppose said, it plain is tried to the. As well that?

Bonus Spam Fiction from "Eglantine" - 

"There are controls set within this body I happen, unfortunately, to
"Impossible."
They took their hats and sticks in silence; but as Syme took his
"Coming, Tom?"
their capitals, where they would laugh the deputies, the senators, the
listened carefully for some time. "Wonderful! You can't even hear the guns."
by the train?"
"No," said the Professor, "for fear he might tell me."